I couldn’t make this up. 

A young investment banker client, a guy who had significant work/life balance issues, wanted to ask me a personal question. He knew well that he had lost his perspective about how much is too much when it came to his work ethic. All he knew was working insane hours was bringing him a terrific income and a relatively secure career path – but was having serious ramifications in his personal life. (The fact that he didn’t like his work much was not yet the issue it became later.) 

He was about to go on his honeymoon in Hawaii. I knew exactly what was coming next. He asked if I thought it would be terrible if he worked on his smartphone during the honeymoon. He said it would only be a “couple of hours,” sometimes more, each day. 

He was completely serious. Talk about boundaries! And it wasn’t the only time I had heard about this kind of work issue. It’s quite common in certain professions. 

I asked him if what he was currently working on was high priority, and whether it was expected that he be on call during his honeymoon. Of course everything, in his mind, was urgent, which was a whole other problem. He did realize that management at his company did not expect him to be available during this particular time, but they did expect him to be somewhat accessible during regular vacations. 

My advice to him was that if I were his wife and saw him working, I would throw the phone into that beautiful Hawaiian ocean. He agreed that would be a reasonable reaction. Our compromise was that he would dedicate a maximum of one half hour a day to answering and reading emails, and he would do it completely out of sight of his wife. Hotel bathroom, honeymoon suite, whatever. Just away from his new wife. 

When he came back, he told me it had worked – and he had been happy with his new-found freedom from the device, and from work. He admitted that the company hadn’t fallen apart due to his not being constantly available. 

Easy for me to say, right? I can just hear some of my clients asking that. 

Try a quota system

Ok. I’ll admit I’ve been a serious offender myself. Due to the nature of my business, I tell clients that I am available for emergencies, meaning a lost job or a negotiation, during vacations. Plus it’s tough not to check email for the possibility of new business. 

On one vacation, I checked email a couple of times a day, and by the end of the vacation, I realized I hadn’t had such a great time. It’s tough to relax when you’re constantly going to work, even for short periods. I had been thinking too much about work issues and had spent far too much time on business email. I resolved that the next big vacation was going to involve some kind of quota system. 

The first time I tried a quota system, it was limiting business email to one half-hour run-through a day, and voicemail once a week. Still too much. Still thinking about work on vacation too much. 

Last summer, I think I finally got it down right. Three days a week, quick scan of emails, maybe 20 minutes max, and the one phone check per week. It did work. I limited most of my computer time to reading the online newspapers and used the iPad for books. Period. 

I strongly urge my clients to withdraw from their devices as much as feasible when on vacation, because it’s good for mental health. That’s the point of vacations. And, if absolutely necessary, limit communications to a set time each weekday or maybe even two-three times a week. Sometimes I’ll encourage clients to think that vacation is part of total compensation (it is). If you don’t utilize your vacation, then you’re leaving money on the table. I’ve never been able to figure out clients who don’t take their full allotment of vacation time – and brag about it! That’s like those Wall Street professionals I work with both in my private practice and at Columbia Business School, who will boast about how many hours a week they work. A very New York City thing. 

Many professionals have realized they can fully withdraw from their devices because of the nature of their businesses, and how things are covered back home when they’re away. That helps create a true vacation experience. 

Limits do work. 

Ellis

For a quick course on networking, pick up my Ebook, Networking: How to Make the Connections You Need
If you're looking for more in-depth advice on your job search, In Search of the Fun-Forever Job: Career Strategies that Work is available in paperback and Ebook. 

Since my book, In Search of the Fun-Forever Job, was published last year, I've received reviews and comments from readers who thought the title meant the book was going to inspire readers to find that elusive “fun-forever job.” Actually, the title was meant to be somewhat ironic. 

Why I Chose that Title
The title came from my daughter who, at age eight, wrote and illustrated a “book” called “When I Am Grownup.” I’m not sure most eight-year-olds would be concerned about professional choices or involved in much self-reflection, but she was the daughter of a career consultant and a psychoanalyst and could hardly avoid this type of thinking. It was genetically predetermined.

In her book, Hannah ruminated about her possibilities. She felt she’d want an “unushowoll” job “that I can do most anything I want in, something like the fun-forever job.” She worried such a job might not be available and considered other options (a headshrinker or a headhunter) but continued to feel concern about even those jobs working out.

The Wish
What was particularly striking to me was that so many of my clients and students have expressed a similar wish for a totally fulfilling career, as if they hoped to discover their perfect, passionate calling out there somewhere.

The concept of a “fun-forever job” seems funny to me because most people—including, perhaps, Hannah at age eight—knows it’s probably unobtainable. This does not appear to prevent people from wanting it anyway.

Of course there are a few lucky people who seem to have found that fun-forever job, but the number of such people is most likely very small. I’ve only met a few over the years.  After all, a job means work, meaning on a daily basis, on most days of the week. Seeking consistent passion puts a heavy emphasis on something that is rarely achieved and often leads to disappointment and discontent at work.

The Reality
Of course, it’s possible to love a job or be passionate about a career, but forever? Every day? That’s like looking for a lifetime soul mate who’s great-looking, rich, witty, sexy, and sensitive—someone you’ll feel excited about all the time for the entire relationship. I know too many people who think that way about relationships. Definitely not a fun-forever situation, either.   

To some degree, the search for the fun-forever job has continued for Hannah, as it has for many of my clients, although they refer to it in different terms. Sometimes, it’ll be “something totally exciting” or the frequent “all I need is challenge,” and other times it’s as basic as “something I won’t dread every day,” or “any job that won’t make me feel sick on Sunday evening.” 

What It Takes to Find a Job that Suits You
I believe career development should be a process that includes figuring out what works and doesn’t work, clarifying personal values, understanding personal style, and leveraging that knowledge moving forward. It doesn’t have to be a lifetime or permanent decision.  Do you hear that, recent graduates?  (Take a look at last week’s blog.) 

Sometimes it may mean that your job only needs to be reasonably good if it supports you and provides you with a salary, security, and benefits, and you can gain the passion part from what you do outside your job. Or you might turn your full-time job into a part-time one and work on several different activities and interests outside of your core job.

There are many other permutations; the key is to not put the pressure of the Big Decision on yourself too early and to realize it may take some time to develop a career that works for you.  My core philosophy of career development is that you should focus on making the career fit your life, not the other way around. 

My own career path, as I explain early in the book, is a good example of the many twists and turns you may need to take to reach that point where you feel pretty good about your career choices. I’ve written about my own experience in the hope that others who find the career development process complicated or painful may understand better that it often involves a series of realizations and changes—sometimes even circling back to what you knew in the first place.

Ellis
For a quick course on networking, pick up my Ebook, Networking: How to Make the Connections You Need
If you're looking for more in-depth advice on your job search, In Search of the Fun-Forever Job: Career Strategies that Work is available in paperback and Ebook.

I often hear from people who want to relocate--some want to stay in the same field, others are looking for a career change--but can’t figure out how to expedite a long distance job search.
Their questions are usually along the lines of:

• How can I keep my current job and still search somewhere else?

• Is an out-of-area address an immediate rejection?  

• How do I network in a place where I don’t yet know anyone?

Conducting a job search long distance isn’t easy. But often clients go about it in some low probability ways--sending out resumes before they're requested, asking for leads before laying the ground work. When they don't get immediate results, their frustration can create a problem all by itself. They lose perspective. They want this whole thing to end fast, and end NOW. But like any job search, it's still going to be a process, when you do it right. And it’s a lot of work. 

The following four points can help improve your odds at landing a job in a new location.  

1. The Out-of-State Address
First, let's get rid of that address problem. It’s true that adding the possible relocation expense might be a problem for a prospective employer – although you will try to negotiate that when you get an offer. 

Many of the people I've worked with have, as a matter of course, dropped addresses from resumes. It seems to be a trend among younger members of the job force. An email address seems to be enough. A telephone number with an out-of-state area code doesn't seem to be a problem anymore; people take their cell numbers with them everywhere they move. So . . . no home address necessary.

2. Understand Networking
Second, you need to fully understand what networking is. It is not just asking everyone you know if they know of openings or jobs. That's a sure-fire way of scaring them off, because people feel guilty when they have to say, "No, not at this moment." And that means you've burned through a contact, making it difficult to stay in touch.

Networking is all about maintaining relationships over a period of time, a form of indirect marketing-–not cornering your valuable connections and pressuring them into a yes/no answer (usually no).

The point is to build business relationships, maintain them by staying in touch, so that when your contacts hear of appropriate situations, you’re on their mind. That's how the vast majority of people find jobs, either by circumstance or by design.  

3. Set Up Phone Meetings
Since you can't be constantly traveling to your intended destination, you set up phone meetings instead of in-person meetings. They may be a little less effective than personally meeting others, but if you cultivate the relationships through following up regularly, you can make that relationship work.

In addition, if you find some of your targeted people are amenable, you might say to several that you will be in the area during the week of ____________, and hope that you could meet them in person. Believe it or not, this works better, most of the time, than asking someone in your home area for a more open-ended time slot.  

4. Use LinkedIn
For building networks in an area where you don't know many in your profession -- try LinkedIn groups. Assuming your profile is up-to-date and promotes your skill set well, look under "Interests" on the top of the home page. There is a subset called "Groups." Then, look for affinity groups. Punch in your field and see what comes up. Maybe a professional group you’ve already joined. Maybe 10 others that are related. Maybe one in your intended geographical area. Join. Get involved in the online conversations. If someone sounds interesting and knowledgeable, try to link in (with a personal invitation, not the LinkedIn template). If he/she responds, then perhaps you write a skillful introductory (brief) email requesting a short conversation because you're researching the market in their area and want to learn more about it.  

It always comes back to: Technique, Discipline and Consistency
This is just a beginning. Clearly, there's much more you can do. I can think of a recently published book (mine!) you might read which will thoroughly take you through the process -- In Search of the Fun-Forever Job: Career Strategies That Work, on Amazon.

Looking for work long distance is eminently doable, even with the tough market conditions. Great search technique, coupled with discipline and consistency, will usually trump the difficult market

Or pick up a copy of Networking: How to Make the Connections You Need to get the short course on how to make the contacts that lead to the job you want.

Photo: wojciech_gajda

by Susan Adams Forbes Staff

Ellis Chase has been in the career and staffing business for 35 years, first in the human resources department at what was then Chase Manhattan Bank in New York, then as a managing director at staffing firm Right Management and now as an independent career and executive coach. He does workshops for Columbia Business School’s MBA career office and he’s just published a book, In Search of the Fun-Forever Job: Career Strategies That Work.

Over the years he’s conducted numerous job interviews and he’s coached hundreds of clients on how to prepare and succeed in interviews, and debriefed them after the fact.  Along the way he’s formed some strong opinions about questions he deems stupid. “Any negative questions are trap questions,” he insists. “If you answer them in a straightforward way you can dig a deep hole for yourself.” Beyond negative questions, he’s also compiled a list of queries that he calls “flat out dumb, stupid questions, or what I call ‘college entrance questions.’” The problem is that interviewers ask them of 42-year-old midcareer professionals.

For the negative questions, like “where have you had trouble at work,” he recommends telling a story about a challenge you’ve had in the past and how you overcame it. For silly questions, he says chuckling and then saying you don’t have an immediate answer, is often the best way to go.

I asked Chase to lay out a list of stupid questions and to share his wisdom about how job candidates can best answer them. Here are 10 questions that interviewers have asked and the answers he recommends. Three of them are negative questions and the rest are questions he calls just plain stupid.

1. What don’t you like about your work?
Try saying, “I don’t love it when I’m hit with a lot of unexpected assignments when I’m already feeling deluged.” Then talk about how you’ve developed time-management and prioritization skills and how that’s helped you handle assignment overload. You’ve learned how to keep yourself from panicking and how to prevent multiple deadlines from distracting you. You’ve also learned that it’s important to get on top of new work as quickly as possible before it’s had a chance to stymie you.

2. What do you dread about work?
The long, boring weekly staff meeting that will take you away from getting work done. But you’ve learned to grin and bear it and also to accept that this is the price you pay to work for a great organization. When it’s your turn to speak, you’ve learned to describe in concise detail the project you’re working on. You’ve found that when you make your presentation compelling and quick, others in the meeting follow suit. You’ve also learned that if you perform well in the meeting, it can help your department become more visible. And even though other people can be long-winded, you’ve discovered that you can glean valuable information about what’s going on in the rest of the company.

3. Describe a tough period in your career.
Talk about a time you were hit with a brand new technology at the office shortly after mastering the old one. At first you balked but then you realized that there was no going back and you’d better get up to speed quickly. You’ve learned whom to talk to, what to read and what resources to tap.

4.  If you had the opportunity, what historical figure would you invite to dinner?
Name legendary figures from your industry. If it’s financial services or anything related to investing, you can say, you know he’s still alive but you’d love to have dinner with Warren Buffett and talk to him about value investing. You could also say you wish you could have dined with David Rockefeller or Walter Wriston, the former CEO of Citicorp who helped save New York City from financial collapse in the 1970s. If you work in tech, say Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. These may seem like obvious answers but do stick to your field to show that’s where your passion lies. Don’t pick a historical figure from left field even if you really would be interested in meeting that person. Stay focused on the job you want.

5. What was your first love?
Chase swears this was a question one of his C-level clients fielded in a recent interview. She worked in consumer packaged goods so she talked about how, when she was in her 20s, she had a junior job on a marketing campaign and she realized she was absolutely thrilled with the challenge of coming up with a marketing concept and trying to make the product more appealing. She framed her first love as falling in love with her profession.

6. Do you think size really matters?
Again, Chase insists an interviewer asked this question. The context was a project where three universities of different sizes were working together and the job was on the joint project. Chase says his client handled the question beautifully, first laughing and then saying she would need to know more about the dynamics of the three people representing the universities, whether they were already working together well and how they were communicating. The consulting firm McKinsey is famed for asking what are known as “case study” questions like, “how many tennis balls can fit in a plane?” The best way to answer is by talking about what you would need to know in order to find the answer.

7. Are you planning to have children?
Employers should know better than to ask a question like this because it skates close to a federal law prohibiting job discrimination against pregnant women. But they still ask. Correct answer: “Not at the moment.” If you already have kids, make it clear that you have child care, including backup arrangements. If you are pregnant but not showing, Chase recommends being honest in a pre-emptive way by saying you plan to work until the very last second, you are in excellent health, you will take the minimum amount of time off and that you have already started to set up several layers of child care. (I wish the American workplace were set up in a more humane way for new parents, with extended paid leave and subsidized on-site childcare, but I concede Chase’s wisdom.)

8. Are you going to get married?
Yes, employers ask this question too, and they seem only to ask women. Correct answer: “If the right guy comes along.”

9. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Like the negative questions about what you hate about your job, Chase says that honestly eanswering this question can be a trap. Do not say you want to do this for two or three years and then become a consultant or that you’d like the interviewer’s job. Instead, says Chase, say “this job combines all the skills I’ve learned to date and I want to grow in it. I can see myself doing this for the rest of my life.”

10. What’s the color of success?
This is another hard-to-believe-they-ask-this question, but Ellis swears it has come up repeatedly. Correct answers: Green, the color of money, because it would mean our business is highly profitable. Or if you’re interviewing at a nonprofit or marketing firm you could say, red, because we want to make an impact.

Read Susan Adams's article on Forbes

Get a copy of Ellis's new book. Networking: How to Make the Connections You Need

For the past several months I’ve been answering readers’ questions on the Ask Ellis pages. There are some questions I’m asked so often, I wanted to repost them, and the answers, here.   

Question: I'm out of work and short on funds.  Is it worth spending the money to see a career advisor?
Dear Ellis,
I've been out of work for six months. I've always been good (successful!) at search, and have been resourceful enough to figure out the best techniques. Yet, something's not working this time. I've been told over and over that I should find a good career advisor to help me, but I hate spending the money during this time when I don’t have much to spend, and don't quite know what to expect from an advisor.  
John R.

Answer: You’ll gain perspective and a whole lot more
Dear John,
This one is always a bit uncomfortable to answer, because it's tough to avoid appearing self-serving. Obviously, I think seeing an advisor is a great way to help you get through this difficult time; otherwise, I would've chosen a different career myself. (Sometimes, though, there have been times when I have told prospective clients that they might benefit more from consulting with professionals in another field.)  

Okay, that's out of the way, and I'll be as objective as possible. 

My major reason for suggesting a career advisor is about the emotional aspects - search is isolating. You've been separated from your routine, from a part of your identity, and from people you may have liked. Left on your own, you ruminate. You try to interpret every aspect of the search, i.e. Why is this person not calling back? Why isn't my resume working the way resumes should? Why is it five days since they said they'd call and they had promised three? Have I made the right choice in what I'm seeking? Maybe it's time for a radical change? And, my favorite: Why are so many people so incredibly rude during this process?   

You go round and round in these thoughts (and so many others), don't get anywhere, and start to over-think every aspect. Some people end up reworking their resumes 10 or 12 times, almost always a serious waste of energy. Sometimes, the result of all the rumination is to make bad career decisions, just to avoid the anxiety of the process itself.  If you have a significant other or family or both, that will probably add to the stress, no matter how supportive friends and family may be.  

What's lacking here is perspective, and I think that's where the experienced listener and advisor play a most critical role. It always amazes me that at the end of a successful client experience, one of the comments I have heard the most over the years is, "You really understood what I was going through." The comments are not usually about the technical aspects of the transition, even if we spent several meetings reviewing networking, resume, and all the rest.  

Of course, an experienced consultant will be knowledgeable about the (over-hyped)  significance of resumes, will help with decisions about appropriate targets, will work with interview presentation and content, will teach the value of high-touch relationship building, and, I hope, will understand and show the value of social media and social intelligence in the process.  

As for the money, if it helps, it's worth it. Don’t think about the immediate cost; it’s all about the big picture and achieving the desired overall result. 

To find answers to your questions on job search and career transition, get your copy of In Search of the Fun-Forever Job: Career Strategies that Work

My new ebook Career Strategies That Work:Networking will be out next week. Check back for details.

ID 32883468 © Bowie15 | Dreamstime.com
 

[Based on the Preface of In Search of the Fun-Forever Job: Career Strategies that Work]

Since my book, In Search of the Fun-Forever Job was published in April, I've received reviews and comments from readers who thought the title meant the book was going to inspire readers to find that elusive “fun-forever job.” Actually, the title was meant to be somewhat ironic. 

Why I Chose that Title
The title came from my daughter who, at age eight, wrote and illustrated a “book” called “When I Am Grownup.” I’m not sure most eight-year-olds would be concerned about professional choices or involved in much self-reflection, but she was the daughter of a career consultant and a psychoanalyst and could hardly avoid this type of thinking. It was genetically predetermined.

In her book, Hannah ruminated about her possibilities. She felt she’d want an “unushowoll” job “that I can do most anything I want in, something like the fun-forever job.” She worried such a job might not be available and considered other options (a headshrinker or a headhunter) but continued to feel concern about even those jobs working out.

The Wish
What was particularly striking to me was that so many of my clients and students have expressed a similar wish for a totally fulfilling career, as if they hoped to discover their perfect, passionate calling out there somewhere.

The concept of a “fun-forever job” seems funny to me because everyone—including, perhaps, Hannah at age eight—knows it’s absurd. This does not appear to prevent people from wanting it anyway.

Of course there are a few lucky people who seem to have found that fun-forever job, but the number of such people is most likely very small. A job means work, meaning on a daily basis, on most days of the week. Seeking consistent passion puts a heavy emphasis on something that is rarely achieved and often leads to disappointment and discontent at work.

The Reality
Of course, it’s possible to love a job or be passionate about a career, but forever? Every day? That’s like looking for a lifetime soul mate who’s great-looking, rich, witty, sexy, and sensitive—someone you’ll feel excited about all the time for the entire relationship. I know too many people who think that way about relationships. Definitely not a fun-forever situation, either.   

To some degree, the search for the fun-forever job has continued for Hannah, as it has for many of my clients, although they refer to it in different terms. Sometimes, it’ll be “something totally exciting,” and other times it’s as basic as “something I won’t dread every day.”

What It Takes to Find a Job that Suits You
I believe career development should be a process that includes figuring out what works and doesn’t work, clarifying personal values, understanding personal style, and leveraging that knowledge moving forward. It doesn’t have to be a lifetime or permanent decision.

Sometimes it may mean that your job only needs to be reasonably good if it supports you and provides you with a salary, security, and benefits, and you can gain the passion part from what you do outside your job. Or you might turn your full-time job into a part-time one and work on several different activities outside of your core job.

There are many other permutations; the key is to not put the pressure of the Big Decision on yourself too early and to realize it may take some time to develop a career that suits you.

My own career path, as I explain early in the book, is a good example of the many twists and turns you may need to take to reach that point where you feel pretty good about your career choices. I’ve written about my own experience in the hope that others who find the career development process complicated or painful may understand better that it often involves a series of realizations and changes—sometimes even circling back to what you knew in the first place.

New book coming soon
I’m pleased to announce I will be publishing a series of very short eBooks--Career Strategies That Work. Each one will address a single topic chosen from the ones I’m asked about most often. The first, Networking: How to Make the Connections You Need will be available in mid-March.


cover by Alan Pranke Amp13

A Case

Nicole was a superstar marketer in media. She had it all. Social media, the quantitative/research background/great work history/product knowledge/branding, you name it. You just couldn’t be any more qualified for the position for which she was interviewing. That became obvious to me after about ten minutes of our first meeting. 

She did extremely well on the interviews for a job as Chief Marketing Officer of a major well-known organization, one of the leaders in its field. It sounded to both of us like a job that would make her career.

And she was terrified about dealing with the impending offer. Her inclination was to accept whatever was offered, because she was convinced that the CEO would renege if she even questioned any aspect of the offer.

We went through the basics (outlined in much more detail in the chapter of In Search of the Fun-Forever Job: Career Strategies that Work that deals with salary negotiations). 

• First, she deferred conversation about money as long as she could, thereby building her value more than she could have if she had talked about it up front.

• Second, she did not negotiate at the point of offer, because she needed to develop a negotiating strategy based on hearing the details of the offer.

• Third, she developed a step-by-step strategy for a collegial face-to-face negotiation with the CEO and the head of human resources. Every issue she had questions about was incorporated into her list. She pushed back mostly on bonus issues, because the word “discretionary” was used, and that’s almost always a red flag; she was seeking a clearer definition of what that meant.  She did get that clarification, which was a major part of the negotiation in her case.

She did very well in the overall process, and, frankly, was astonished that the CEO and human resources people did not even flinch when she pushed back. They, as I had predicted, had expected it.

Almost invariably, those who extend offers do expect some pushback, some negotiation. Actually, they are surprised if the offer is accepted on the spot. 

Nicole did not need for them to be her friends; this was a business transaction where she was trying to be compensated for her significant potential value to the organization. 

By the way, she’s now in line for the CEO position. The company is obviously thrilled with her.

If she had not negotiated assertively, she would have ended up unhappy in the position when she found out she was underpaid-–and she wouldn’t have clarified the bonus issue.  There were several other issues, too, that were clarified in the final phase of the process, as the result of a well thought-out strategy.  

I can’t wait to work with her on the next negotiation. 

Is There a Gender Difference?

For many years, I’ve been thinking about the issue of women and negotiating--or, as I like to call it, “making the ask.” While it’s important to be careful about stereotyping and generalizations, this seems to be one of those issues that appears and re-appears with my women clients and students, and hasn’t seemed to change much in the 30+ years I’ve been working in career advisement. 

In general, most of the women I’ve worked with have had difficulty in salary negotiations, performance reviews, and marketing themselves assertively.

I have tried hard to figure out why. I’ve found this to be true even with fulltime female MBA students in elite business schools, a population which you would expect to be more assertive and confident than most. Think about it – 26-year-old women (who grew up in an era where women can reasonably expect to do well in nearly any profession, including those on Wall Street) who have excelled in top colleges, done very well in their first jobs, and been admitted to extremely selective graduate schools, where the competition is fierce. 

Yet, when I teach classes on salary negotiations, I find that the women in the class almost uniformly will say this subject is difficult for them. Most of the men won’t. (Of course, there are exceptions to each side.)

Why does this problem exist? I’ve been trying to figure it out for a long time. Historically, culturally, psychologically, any way one could look at it. Is it because most women tend to be more relationship oriented and, therefore, more invested in caring that others like them? Maybe. 

I’ve often noticed that my women clients are usually better at building long-term networking relationships–-but when it comes to direct self-marketing, there’s still a problem. They’re frequently more comfortable joining groups in the career transition process, too. But still, taking credit and expressing confidence about accomplishments is often difficult. So I work with them on getting past worrying about whether the other person in the transaction is going to like them, or might withdraw the offer if they push back. 

Hey, it’s business! If you’re logical and present your material in a sequential, organized, factual way, that’s what will count. 

I’m convinced it’s some kind of hard-wiring , maybe cultural, maybe biological, maybe both, but that’s not my area of expertise. (Far from it.) 

If There IS a Difference, What Are Some Coping Strategies?

What many clients have asked is-–how can they overcome these feelings of discomfort in self-marketing and/or negotiating? 

I do have a fairly simple way of at least beginning this process. 

Prepare, Practice, Perform

I think this issue is similar to the problem of anxiety about interviewing. And, as with interviewing, it doesn’t matter how you feel; it matters what you say and what you look like when you say it. In other words, performance. Acting. You don’t have to solve the anxiety problem. You have to create stronger perceptions. That requires some performance practice. 

When talking about yourself, either in an interview, or a performance review, a meeting, or a salary negotiation, instead of getting anxious about whether you’re really worth it, why not prepare for these situations by outlining what you want to say and rehearsing it (back to the acting again)? If it doesn’t come naturally, do what I tell many introverted clients to do on a search-–prepare. Outline. And then prepare again. Don’t wing it. Don’t think you have to overcome whatever that hard-wiring is all at one time. Figure out what you want to say, how to say it, and practice it.

The first major step is believing that you have significant accomplishments, that you are worth the money and/or the job and/or the promotion, and write down all the reasons. Review your resume. You probably already spent too much time on it anyway, so put it to some good use. Yes, you did that. Yes, you helped the organization achieve that. Yes, you have this skill and that skill. 

Just in case I haven’t stressed the importance of asserting yourself (and “pushing back”) in the situations mentioned, here’s one more reason for negotiating. It sets the tone for your employment, should the deal be completed. You will make it known that, for salary reviews, promotions, etc., you will be a force to be dealt with.You will not be the nice person who will roll over and watch the more assertive co-workers get the promotion or get more bonus compensation, or new responsibilities.  Management will know that you will push back to get what you’re entitled to. 
Stand in front of the mirror and watch your body language when you’re saying your planned responses. Shoulders back, smiling, great eye contact, confidence (even if you don’t feel it). 

I realize that the above is basic, that many will still want to overcome the inner anxiety, or the need to please. In the meantime, while you’re trying to solve all that, why not focus on the performance and the content? 

© Chris Boswell | Dreamstime.com

Labor Day Thoughts

To most of the US, Labor Day is supposed to be a celebration of labor.  

To those in career transition, it's something entirely different. It can involve several thoughts, including: "Uh oh, time to get re-booted on the search," or "I can't believe I fell into the trap of stopping my efforts for the summer” or "Now I can REALLY get serious, because it's September and that's when things get going again."

I don't want to spend space here admonishing those who fell into the trap of thinking summer or holiday times aren't good times to look for employment. It's quite the opposite, because those times are actually great networking times.

But enough of looking backward (although we will keep this in mind when the November/December holidays approach).  

How to move forward? Statistics show that October/November/December (yes, December) are great hiring months.

For those who think they're going to go gangbusters into a post-Labor Day hiring frenzy, think again. Lots of people are returning from vacation; what are the odds they all would want to be approached immediately? I think September is a great time for researching, building networks, and preparing for a full-out campaign in the last quarter. (January is the same kind of month as September.)

Of course, these are all generalizations, and there are plenty of exceptions. But, my main recommendation is to take your time building those high-touch relationships in September, and don’t expect a flood of immediate positive results. This process is a slow-building one, and if you did indeed take off a lot of time in the summer, consider September as a gradual restart.  

After that, don't let up, ever, for the holiday periods. Losing momentum is hard, and it's even harder to regain it. Discipline and consistency are key components for successful search.  

To make your restart a little easier, the ebook edition of In Search of the Fun-Forever Job: Career Strategies that Work is on sale through September 2nd.

You can find it on Amazon, Smashwords, Apple*, Kobo*, Nook*, and Diesel*.

The paperback edition is also being offered at 25% off.

*If the sale price is not yet reflected on these channels, please purchase through Amazon or Smashwords.

Happy Labor Day!

And good luck with your search.

© Somartin | Dreamstime.com

Frequently, I need a refresher dose of reality to pull me away from going into automatic mode when explaining career issues with clients and students. What I mean is that experiences in my own life remind me what it's like to face the same issues my clients and students face. It's frequently humbling, and more often illuminating.

Sometimes, I learn, all over again, what clients go through--dealing with rejection, the lack of concrete feedback, not quite knowing if things are working right--when they're interviewing for jobs, or building a consulting practice, or just figuring out what their next moves should be.

Recently, I was reminded how building a consulting practice could be executed beautifully.  

I had decided to hire a public relations professional to help with marketing The Fun Forever Job: Career Strategies that Work, as well as to help me secure more speaking engagements that would match this marketing. While my indie publisher and I (she, a relatively new publisher, and me, a completely novice book writer) had done well (way beyond our expectations--more than 15,000 books moved in the first three months), we wanted to take things to the next level. Reach a wider audience.  

Through a little networking, I found a couple of well-recommended PR professionals. Again, I was in a novice position, never having had to work personally with someone in this arena before.  For clients, yes--but for myself, no.

I set up phone meetings with both. Unfortunately, they both used cell phones--something I encourage my clients and students to avoid because it’s bad business. The sound quality is almost always poor, especially if hands-free or speaker is used. Why make your potential customer strain to hear?   

Even so, the first publicist was terrific on the phone. Her background was impressive. She knew what she was talking about. We clicked immediately. However, she had not done much due diligence on me or my book or my professional background. In fact, she was only first checking things out while we spoke. I told her what I was looking for, and she said she would send me a proposal, with pricing in a week or two--which was fine with me.

While I enjoyed the conversation, and felt comfortable with her, her lack of preparation gave me the impression she wasn’t particularly interested in the project. She may very well be, but she certainly didn't show much enterprise in how she approached me.

And I didn’t hear from her afterward--there have been no follow-ups, no questions. Although I do expect to get the proposal within the time frame she mentioned, I already know she’s not going to get the assignment. A prospective employer needs to feel that the applicant is excited, has done her homework, and follows up.

The second publicist made a great first impression; she immediately told me she had read the entire book the night before. Yeah, of course, that was flattering, but she immediately explained how the book would lend itself to a campaign and how easy it would be to develop talking points and other materials. She was off and running. She had carefully vetted my personal website and the book website and had comments about both. In a first conversation, of course, she was complimentary about most of it, and made a few very minor, inoffensive suggestions. She was proving her value almost immediately.

I just wish the phone connection had been better.

She, too was going to send a proposal within a couple of weeks.

But! She wrote immediately afterward to thank me for the time, and to ask a few clarifying questions. We have been back and forth several times in the past week.

The kicker was that yesterday she wrote and told me that if I would write a brief blog piece on a specific topic, she thought she would be able to get it onto a major website that is significant in my field.  

One hour after I submitted it, she wrote back and said it had been accepted.

My decision has been made. I don't know about financial parameters of the proposal yet, but, assuming they're reasonable, I will work with this professional. And I do mean professional.

Her approach could not have been better. Well prepared, homework done, enthusiasm, follow- up, and a demonstration of what she could do.  

The choice will be easy.

Does this real-life personal story apply to most career transition scenarios? I definitely think so.  

© Marek Uliasz | Dreamstime.com